A few years ago, a mom called me in tears. Her middle school daughter had been self-harming for months, hiding the scars under sleeves and silence.

"We’re a Christian family," she said, "We pray. We talk. I never thought this would be our story." If that sentence makes your heart tighten, either because it is your story or because you're afraid it might be, I want you to hear me say: you're not alone, and you're not powerless.

Teen suicide and self-harm are not far-off issues for "other" families. They’re here, in our schools, in our homes, and in church! According to the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, nearly 18% of adolescents in the U.S. have engaged in non-suicidal self-injury, and suicide is the second leading cause of death among teens aged 15–19¹.

These aren’t just statistics. These are students we’ve baptized, attendees of CF Students, and young people who serve in ministry. And when we forget that, we risk being unprepared to walk with them when the darkness comes.

So, what do we do as parents?

1. First, we listen—really listen—without jumping to fix or lecture. James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Sometimes the most Christ-like thing we can do is sit quietly in the pain with our child.

2. Second, we pursue help; professional, pastoral, and communal. This isn’t a failure of faith. It's faithful stewardship. God gives wisdom through therapists and counselors the same way He gives wisdom through His Word.

3. And finally, we root our home in gospel hope. Remind your child (and yourself) that Jesus doesn’t flinch at brokenness. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

   
   

If your child is struggling, or if you simply want to be ready if they ever do, hold fast to grace. Hold fast to community. And above all, hold fast to Jesus. He is strong enough to carry you both.

If you or a loved one is struggling with suicide or self-harm, we invite you to seek pastoral counseling here, or dial the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to remain anonymous and receive confidential support.

Work Cited

1 “International prevalence of adolescent non-suicidal self-injury and deliberate self-harm - Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health.” Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health, 30 March 2012, https://doi.org/10.1186/1753-2000-6-10. Accessed 5 August 2025.