For years, I had made the intentional decision to be quiet.

I almost said no when they asked me to share a Mother’s Day encouragement, because for five years, I’ve chosen to listen instead of speak. But as I looked around at the women who have shaped my walk with Jesus, I sensed the Lord whisper, “Give back what was poured into you.” So here I am, a mom still learning, passing along the wisdom He’s carved into my everyday chaos.

Allow me to introduce my family: I'm married to my sweetheart, Pastor Gideon, and I'm tremendously blessed by my two rambunctious boys you may have seen (or heard) around. I’ve been a part of the Downtown Campus congregation for thirteen years.

You may not be a mother yet, or you may be walking a different path, but I believe the Lord has something for each of us in these four lessons.

Lesson #1: Worry Wasn’t the Answer—Trust Was

Like many moms, I’ve rehearsed every “what if.” From my son’s picky eating to fears about his development. But I’ve learned that when the “what ifs” start circling in my mind, I can face them head-on with God.

I’ve practiced going to the worst-case scenario and letting it play out in my mind. Terrifying? Yes. But do you know what I found every time? The same conclusion: The Lord is my strength. He will be with me. He will carry me. He will carry my child.

What’s your “what if?” You can trust the Lord to carry it.

Lesson #2: Embrace the Moment

When my youngest was still a toddler, we wound up at the Target toy aisle (of course!). He spotted a toy, and I said yes—just one. In my mind, I was doing the right thing. I didn’t want to spoil him. I told myself that if I gave in too often, I’d ruin him somehow. But then he saw another toy. His little two-year-old heart wanted both. I stuck to my “just one” rule and said no.

But what surprised me most wasn’t Jude’s reaction, it was the response from seasoned moms: “Abby, buy the toy; this season evaporates.”

And they were right. That season is gone.

That experience made me realize I was trying so hard to parent perfectly, to draw the right lines and teach all the right lessons, when sometimes, what my child needs most is for me to just enjoy him. Not everything has to be a teachable moment. Some moments are meant to be treasured.

So, buy the toy sometimes. Sit on the floor. Say yes to the moment. Because one day, they won't ask for toys or reach for your hand. The season will shift, and you'll want to say you embraced it fully.

Lesson #3: Love Covers a Multitude of Sins

I hope I’m not alone: Virtual school 2020 exposed the thin edge of my patience! I had moments I wasn’t proud of. Thoughts like, “When is this child going back to school?” But those thoughts, as hard as they were to admit, revealed something deeper: I needed growth. I needed grace. I needed to let God do something in me, not just through me.

And somewhere along the way, He did.

But of course, in His humor and wisdom, we ended up homeschooling permanently! And if you had seen me in my worst COVID-era moment (flustered, exhausted, barely patient) you probably would’ve said, “Absolutely not.” But by God’s grace, we’re here and we’ve grown.

In the moments when you feel you've fallen short, remember that God's grace is sufficient for you. Where you fail, He won't. His love covers your mistakes (1 Peter 4:8) and continues to work in and through you. Sometimes, our greatest growth as mothers comes not from doing everything right, but from allowing God to work in us through our imperfections.

Lesson #4: Ask for Help

For most of my life, I prided myself on being independent. I was raised to be strong, to push through, to figure it out. And somewhere along the way, I also picked up the quiet lie that culture feeds us constantly: “I should be able to do it all.”

So when my second child came along, I had that same mindset. “Work? Baby? Life? I’ll manage.” But behind the scenes, I was drowning. And I didn’t want to ask for help, not because help wasn’t available, but because I believed asking meant I had somehow failed.

Looking back now, I realize that wasn’t strength. That was pride and exhaustion disguised as empowerment.

But God, in His mercy, began to undo that thinking. He reminded me that real strength is found in humility, not hustle. And slowly, I learned to ask for help. Friends showed up with coffee, diapers, and presence, actively being my church family.

To the strong, independent mothers out there: You don't have to do this alone. You were never meant to carry the weight of motherhood all by yourself. God is not asking you to be everything. He's asking you to come to Him with everything.

Lay down the pride, the pressure, the performance, and pick up peace. When you do, you'll find that peace is possible, that surrender is strength, and that God's grace really is enough.

Happy Mother’s Day—may He equip you in the chaos and give you rest.